What to do if you hate promoting yourself

Does the thought of promoting yourself make you want to run away screaming?

Does it feel uncomfortable, sleazy or boisterous to you? (yeah, it does to a lot of other people in business too!) What if there was an antidote for the “I hate marketing myself” feeling?

I think there is!

Because sometimes all it takes is a different perspective to change our perspective. So today, I’m offering up this: I think marketing is a lot like choosing friends.

So, what do your friendships look like?

When I look back years ago, I admit that for a long time I was a “convincer”. I tried to convince people (that I thought were my friends) to spend time with me. It was always me initiating calls. Always me asking them to get together.

Finally, I got tired of chasing. I got tired of these relationships that were one-sided. I got tired of doing all the work to try to breathe life into something that should be left to fade away!

But I still didn’t understand why these ‘friendships’ didn’t work out.


I was frustrated! What was wrong with me? Like a little kid, inside I felt like “why don’t they want to be my friend?”. Then, one day, I finally I realized THEY weren’t the source of my angst – it was ME.

I had been acting more like a love-starved puppy dog than a woman who respected who she was and what she brought to the table. And you know what? Those were exactly the kind of people I had attracted!

That was the day I decided – no more chasing people who don’t appreciate and love me for who I am! No more convincing people they should be my friend or spend time with me!
And so it is with your ideal clients.


So often in business, time is wasted with the people who don’t resonate with you, what you do, or how you can help them. Either you’re working too hard to get their business or working with them makes you feel like ripping your hair out.


Just with the one-sided friends, it’s time to realize it’s not a good fit, and quickly move on.


Identifying your ideal clients, and surrounding yourself with those who are crazy about what you do, can’t wait for the next thing you’re doing, and totally enjoy interacting with you – well, that changes everything!

As I always say, spend your time in life and business around those who think sunshine comes out of your … skirt. Ya, skirt.

If you’re frustrated by the people around you in your business and you feel like you’re chasing them down – STOP. Look at who you’re choosing to seek out. Ask yourself, are you being a convincer?

It’s easy to talk about what you do and how you can help people (a.k.a. marketing) when the people around you like you, they’re already listening for what you have to say, and they know you’re the one who can help them!

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