You know one of them, don’t you? One of those people who drags the life out of you, makes you feel wound up, fed up, or down and out? Yet, you keep spending time with them, and you don’t know why. Are you ready to get rid of toxic people?
As a woman, it’s especially hard to bid adieu to those people, isn’t it? I bet you’ve thought about it, and maybe those voices in your head have said things like, “but I don’t want to hurt their feelings”, “it’s not so bad”, or “I don’t want them to get mad at me”.
It’s hard to put yourself first, but it’s necessary if you really want to thrive – especially for entrepreneurs!
Whether that person is pulling you down about your personal life, or creating angst and chaos because they challenge your entrepreneurship, you know you have a decision to make. You don’t have to suffer this one way relationship any longer. {For help dealing with doubters, read this post}
Putting yourself first is the kindest thing you can do – for you both!
The key to remember here is that you are in control. Yes, you get to choose. It’s time to surround yourself with the people who lift you up, not the ones who drag you down.
It’s time to remove the toxic relationships and move forward but you don’t know how?
It’s time for de-tox!
Detox Tactics:
Are you ready to be up front and tell them how you feel? Do it. In a way that is kind and thoughtful of their feelings, explain that you feel that you’re no longer on the same page about “x” (topic of angst), and that you’d prefer to not talk about “x” with them any longer. Sometimes when you call people on something, they mysteriously become silent in your life. Other times they get offended. Remember the golden rule: you can’t control other people, you can only control yourself. You are not responsible for their reaction, if you’ve been considerate of them.
Are you uncomfortable with having ‘the talk’ with them? Make your decision as to how much of your time you’re willing to invest with them (remember, you’ll never get that time back!) Set a limit on how many times you will talk to them, and for how long. Start cutting back. Wayyy back. Wayyyy wayyyy back. Be firm, stick to your guns on this, and you’ll find the less time you’re with them, the more you notice just how draining they really are. That makes it easier to distance yourself even more. Most likely, the relationship will just fizzle out on it’s own.
If not, and they call you on it, be prepared to give a short, concise answer that they can’t argue with. Things like ” I don’t have much extra time these days”, or “I’m not comfortable talking about “x” anymore”. State it in a way that excludes them as part of the equation, and they don’t have much room to object. Be firm, don’t back down, and don’t get caught up in any further explanation. If you need to, practice the conversation before it’s needed, until it becomes natural. Then when the time comes, you won’t hesitate to say what you need to say. Being prepared makes it so much easier.
Take a stand, you know what is best for you, and what you need to do.
It’s time to rock the detox!
